IT'S SO HARD TO PRETEND NOT TO LOVE A PERSON WHEN YOU REALLY DO.
Profile.
ELLA Tamara Bleszynski.
6 april 1993.
West Side.
Juying Secondary School.
O Level This Year.
A Dancer But Being An Actress Is My Biggest Dream.
NUTZCREW repp FunkyNutz.
Red & Adidas Freak !
Single But Unavailable.
Songs.
Tagboard.
Links.
Archieves.
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Title; i think im crazy over watching soccer :)
H.A.N.D.S.O.M.E !! *Attract-ed* C.U.T.E !! *Smile*     CHRISTIANO RONALDO <3 H.A.W.T. !!! *Meltz* Labels: big w.o.w
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Friday, September 25, 2009
Title; Disappointments
 thank God , have accept-ed it , sincerely :) and i dont blame anyone cuz with that , it make me realise-d :D let bygones be bygones . the Almighty arrange-d all this . there's always something behind something . and i believe in that . everything happen has the reason to it . how i wish i could share with you a real story that has happen-ed to someone who are just like you but he dont have the opportunity to realise and repent . but i hope , soon or later , you still have the chance to realise and repent . i dont ask or expect anything much . i care for you cuz youre my friend , treat-ed you just lyke my own brother . i just do what i think i have to do . got not much words to say . i hope this short post will waken you up , really hope so ! cuz you are going overboard . Labels: i know its going to be long to realise
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Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Title; eyes closing soon
 im so sleepy right now dont have the mood for almost everything and im going to sleep Labels: dreams
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Monday, September 21, 2009
Title; 1st day of raye
 SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN !!! hee ....
yesterdae was a great fun !! cousins aunties uncles nephew and all <3 a house full of peoples .. noisy and all :D ate alot , so much !! and there was lyke 8 cars in total yesterdae . and we race !!! the kids was crying when their father lose .. hahahaa !! cute ! and there's the abang2 and kakak2 disturb them . what the malay say , MENYAKAT .. hehe ! and they wanna ' beat ' us . takot nye ................. :P and i reach-ed home nearly 1am . watch-ed tv then sleep .
and im going out again later ....... yeaayyyy !! :D i love hari raye ! <3 Labels: fun
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Friday, September 18, 2009
Title; heee ...
just went to the saloon . hair cut , treatment and perming big curls <3 thought of highlight-ing too .. but , im having my N-level on 5 , 6 , 8 and 12 of oct ..... so i cant :( but after everything is done , i'll do it . hehehehe !
anyways , i just cure-d :D Labels: recover-ing
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Title; Depends
 I've been closing and opening my eyes since 6 April 1993 . A big thanks to mother , Roslinah Mohd , and father , Abdul Aziz , because without you both , I won't be here in this world . I won't be able to see how's life and won't be able to experience what I've experienced since 6 April 1993 till today .
It's hard to stand and walk by myself alone when I was a small kid . I need a hold of hands . I need support and encouragements . And I was able to walk steadily now . Even running , crawling .... and dancing . Everything . But deep inside , I am still not strong enough . I do still need support , encouragements and corrections . Learning will never end because everyone make mistakes ! It may be a big or small one . But first , realise it and change . TRY to change .
Everytime when I achieve-d what I've wanted , my mind was whirling with excitement . I will give everyone a gleeful smile with dimples that Allah gave me . * Alhamdulillah . But when I didn't achieve it , I could hear my heart shatter into a million pieces , but no one knows . Misery was written all over my face . No more smile but was etch-ed with sorrow . Tear stain-ed but what I could do is ,
FORGET about it .
Somehow , support and encouragements gave me strength . But where is it now ? Why everyone is mute-d ?! It has stop-ed . It is so easy by entering a life and just go ? Maybe Allah wants to test me . But I've no strength to face all this . When someone ask-ed me why , I just smile-d bleakly but utter-ed not a word . I just want realisations , and then corrections from certain people . I can't do much . I just buried my face in my hands and let out an audible sigh . DISAPPOINTMENT remains .
Maybe this is the last one or maybe it's not . I don't know . But I hope one day my prayers will be answer . Eventhough it's going to take a long period of time , I ............... *speechless .
Before that , I'm sorry truckloads if I have made any mistakes , big or small , or offend-ed any of you guys . Being rude or make you guys feel disappoint or angry or sad . Anything . I'm here apologising . I'm sorry ! And everything that you guys've made , I have accept-ed it and forgave it . SELAMAT HARI RAYA ! Labels: goodbye
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Monday, September 14, 2009
Title; misses !
i have to admit that , i miss lots of people so much !! <3my families ..nutzcrew ..bestfriend and sec friends ..kindergarden and pri friends ..voguelicious ..unique desire ..aisy ..dancers ..and everyone that i know laa !sorry if i forgot to mention anyone .thats all i have to say .much misses to everybody that i've known <3
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Title; stand up for yourself
how should i start ?hmmm ....well , i dont know that he is serious towards me .i mean , he show-ed his love but not in a serious way ,that's why i usually ignored him .until that things happen-ed ,then i know , most of the things .well , umm , not that i don't believe when everytime he saysthat he love me , but ....the way he says , to me its lyke , ****** .and how should i accept him when im still thinking of ,another person .you tell me !i don't wanna play or make use of you ,just to forget that particular person , you know !!i don't want any regrets at the end of the day .do you understand me , Muhammad Dinie Bin Ramli ?i don't want you to end up have the feelings of envy-nessif you know that i still admiring someone else .but if you read this then i hope you'll understand , hopefully .and you see , you wouldnt have to tell another person that you love me right ??i mean lyke , cant you just tell me right infront of my face ?i am a type of girl who hates passes around messages .i lyke straight forward .i totally hates passes around messages cuz you pass to this person and that person pass to another pass and when i found out , its turn to anotherstories and this leads to misunderstanding !get me ??
ouhkay maybe lyke what you've said to Mira , that you're shy anddont know what you need to do to make me believe and accept your love right ...oh come on !you're a guy dude !!you don't expect a girl to make the first move , omg !or maybe you're scared cuz you know that im admiring someone and i might reject on you ?Dinie , i think you deserve a better person than me .and when you found it , just go for it alright .to my opinion ,' every relationships fails because they're scared and don't express
about what they feels to one another ' .be open .i'm giving you advice now ouhkay .and this is good for you cuz i don't wanna use you to forget thatparticular person in my mind now .but yes , i'm now trying to forget about that particular person .and continue on with my life , cuz i know , i've been rejecting lots of stuffsafter i met that particular person .but i'm still confuse ,.... about myself .i dont know .i mean , i can't tell/state everything about what i feel , what i think andeverything in this blogger right .EVERYTHING , of course not !it's not lyke i am not open or something .i am very open minded .wanna talk about anything , im on with it .wanna talk about sex , humanity , vagina , dick or whatever .i dont care actually , but i also have to respect to people who arenot right .so yeahh ..Dinie , i hope you move on and i'm trying to move on too .and i appreciate everytyme when im with you .your jokes and lame stuffs .we're bestfriend alright !i can't live in that classroom without you sitting infront me and always turning back , disturbing me , hold my everything my stuffs !irritates me and everything !you're my besty ever and i'm grateful to know you .thanks for all the praises and im gonna miss you after graduation :( Labels: you gotta move on
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Sunday, September 13, 2009
Title; colours ?
my mom cook-ed 3 dishes todae for break fasting . spaghetti , hongkong noodles and rendang daging !! :) guess she's in good mood :D and im so full right now ! and also , she have baked 4 kinds of kuih ald . tart , cornflakes , suji and makmur :) YUUUMMMMMMY !!! and i didnt help in any of them :( cuz she make it after sahur which is arnd 5 plus am ! im so sleepyyyyy ......... well , last 2 daes ( fri ) , i and mom went to geylang to buy clothes for hari raya . but yeah , nothing catches my eyes ! so yesterdae , we went to arab street . and well , nothing catches my eyes too .. im so stress-ed !! anak , mak , very crewet ! but at the end , we bought it . but only mine . her's , not yet . its cost $190 . hahhahah ! my dad going crazy :P but , i hate this yr hari raya cuz i dont want to be green this year ! but both my brothers , want it . so majority wins . i want blue . actually red , but last year its ald red so yeah . and im going geylang now . cuz my brothers and dad and mom's havent get yet . and sorry for not updating for a long tyme .... i know you guys miss me . hehehheheheheh :P JOKING !! heee ...... :D
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Thursday, September 3, 2009
Title; should watch
i didnt sleep the whole night .cant sleep .and so i download-ed a movie/video and transfer it to psp .a great movie !- Syurga Cintawhere i cried watching it :(its a sad movie ....- Bohsiaa great movie , but yeah , its scary if u put urself in their shoe .but afterall , it gives a 'lesson teach' to the teenagers .so that we wont do and get influence by anything .and think before any regrets appear .but , my favourite actor , Aaron Aziz ,become bapak ayam siaaaa ...............hahaa !!
eventho i didnt sleep , i dont feel any regrets .cuz those movies ' fill-ed my nights ' .for those who havent watch ,watch now !!!just go youtube , hehhehehee !! Labels: great movie
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Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Title; strangers
i went to pioneer macd for buke just now .take away .i walk-ed to and fro .it was a long journey .i felt tired when i wanna go baq and the time is 6:45pm lyke that .so i take the shortcut where i have to walk-ed pass the stadium .as usual , the stadium was lots of people .jogging , soccer & etc .a group of soccer team just finish-ed their trainings and they were walking ,
thru the main gate , where im walking to .
most of them not a Singaporeans .
one of them shout-ed at me ,
but i ignore-d .
actually , i've seen them lots of time when they are having their trainings .
cuz yeah , last tyme i used to jog at that stadium .
then , one of them run to me and said to me that why i ignore-d hym .
excuses , i said i didnt hear :P
cuz im scared of strangers .
from there ,
he ask-ed me lots of questions .
lyke whats my name , where i stay , age , schooling at and etc .
but yeah , most of my informations are wrong :P
umm , his name is ... i forget .
his age was 23 .
his from Alogo or Alago , umm .. not sure ...
he lives in a bungalow opposite my house .
so yeah , we talk-ed alot justnow .
but seriously i was super scared !!
im not saying that guys cant be trusted ,
but .. idk how to explain it .
afterall , it turns fine though .
great talking to him eventho i feel lyke just run far away before
anything happens .
btw , he look just lyke ChrisBrown .
with the cap , the white singlet and a necklace with muscular body .
when he know im a dancer , he says this ,
' oooo .. so ur a dancer huh ? so u wanna try to challenge me ? '
hahaa ! wtf ?!
i mean , yeah i know his culture is lyke more to dancing .
and i guess talking to hym can improve my english :)
ouh yaa , tmr school ..........................................................*lazy !can it lyke teacher's dae everydae ??hehhehe !Labels: damn, school
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ELLA Tamara Bleszynski.
6 april 1993.
West Side.
Juying Secondary School.
O Level This Year.
A Dancer But Being An Actress Is My Biggest Dream.
NUTZCREW repp FunkyNutz.
Red & Adidas Freak !
Single But Unavailable.
